October 3, 2009

Untitled Chant Royal by MeltonMowbray

Filed under: Uncategorized — mishari @ 7:10 AM


They say imagination is the key
to a lifetime of sexual success
and I suppose in a way you can see
going in-house has a certain finesse,
no problem finding candidates to shag,
or figuring out what might be their bag
but when your fancy’s as feeble as mine
building a fantasy can be a swine,
so I mainly go for the human embrace
and ignore the argument from design:
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.

There are those who’ll tell you that venery
is satiated by the porno press,
and my teenage stash of wankery
was an important resource, I confess;
but there does come a time when the jizz mag
and solo pleasuring becomes a fag;
when you see the naked female form divine
in some luxurious room recline
and find yourself checking out the bookcase,
you know your mojo is on the decline:
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.

Of course, you could pick up your phone and be
in the middle of sexual congress
(if you’ve got credit) almost instantly:
I don’t understand the appeal, unless
lending an ear to some raddled old hag
assuming the part of a juicy slag
loads the ammunition in your carbine.
Anyway, my phone manner’s not benign,
I struggle for a modicum of grace
even when the vicar is on the line:
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.

The sex film aspires to urbanity,
but somehow they always seem to possess
too much in the way of humanity,
a far too obvious self-consciousness,
in which the details of the body nag,
the wrinkles, pimples, the ruddy skin tag,
those bunions, boils, that receding hairline.
No, observing two humans intertwine
is not exactly an erotic place,
it’s more like a sexual stop sign:
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.

The arrival of new technology
gave every Janet and John an access
to the full grimoire of sexology,
an encyclopaedia of excess;
but that generous erotic grab-bag
hides in its steaming folds of flesh a snag,
those lurking strings of coding which define
your taste for men or milfs or sheep or kine,
and save it for your government to trace:
I think I’ll stick with my carnal guideline,
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.


I’m going to run up the missionary flag,
though I know you swingers find it a drag,
can you conceive of anything more fine
than having your lady in your eyeline?
Alternative postures are a disgrace,
and you won’t find me adopting canine:
I love to do my lovin’ face to face.


1 Comment »

  1. I’ve got wood.

    Comment by MeltonMowbray — October 3, 2009 @ 11:34 AM | Reply

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